Back to School

Our family is about to undergo a radical change.  (yes, another one…and no, I’m not pregnant.)  Next Monday -- one week from today -- Michael , Emma, and Andrew will go back to school.  Back to actual, brick and mortar, show-up-before-the-bell-rings-and-don’t-forget-your-permission-slip school.   Mary will start preschool the following week.  Here’s an idea for all you seasoned, salty moms out there trying to reignite the exhilaration of early motherhood.  Take your kids out of school, homeschool them for three years, then register them for the neighborhood school.  You’ll feel all the nerves, anxiety, excitement, stress, and guilt that accompanied new motherhood.  Doesn’t that sound fun?  Throw in a move to a foreign country and you have an indigestion commercial in the making.   

So if this is causing so much turmoil (for me) why have we decided to send the kids back to school?  It all started one day last April Bill and I were talking about  where we'd like to be living when Michael starts high school.  Bill said, “Well, 9^th grade shouldn’t be his first exposure to school, after 6 years, so he should go back to school in 8^th grade.”  I responded, “8^th grade!  That’s the end of middle school!  If he’s going back to school, he’s going back in 6^th grade—the beginning of middle school so he’s new like everyone else.”  And with that 15 second exchange, we opened the door to sending the kids back to school.  As the conversation continued, we discussed all the reasons we’d pulled the kids out of school in the first place—keeping them out of  bad less-than-stellar schools in South Carolina, avoiding another mid-year school transfer, being able to travel back to nearby Jacksonville frequently, and knowing that I could probably do better than the local schools.  In South Carolina, all those reasons made sense.  In Okinawa, not so much.  The Department of Defense schools here are among the best in the military.  We’ll be starting the school year at the beginning, and going to Jacksonville (or anywhere, for that matter) isn’t very easy unless I'm prepared to hijack a boat or an airplane.  And finally, the schools here provide so many unique opportunities that I could never duplicate at home.  There are Japanese culture classes, a structural design class (right up Michael’s Lego-building alley) and several clubs and after-school activities that the kids are hoping to enjoy.  Plus, the schools are right down the street.  For Michael, it’s probably a 5-10 minute bike ride, but for Emma and Andrew it’s just two blocks away. 

Do I sound like I'm still trying to convince myself that it's the right idea?  Well, I am (sort of.)  I know they're going to make lots of friends and learn tons of things that I would never think of teaching them (some good, some bad.) But, well….I’m going to miss them! When I brought this up to my wise husband, he said, “Well, Laura….we didn’t bring them home for you.” Good point.  There were some days while we were homeschooling that I would have paid the schoolbus driver to take the kids to whatever school he was going to and LEAVE THEM THERE. But, most days were just run of the mill, wake up around 7:30 or 8am, have a leisurely breakfast, then start schoolwork around 8:30 or 9. And, if we’d worked really hard and had few interruptions, we’d be done by noon. Other moms would tell me “Oh, I could never teach my own kids…we’d butt heads too much.” But in all honesty, school time was usually the most peaceful time of the day. Oh sure, they’d complain if they thought I’d given them too much work.  And, that first year my “over-achieving” Michael loved to say, “Mom, this just isn’t fair. At regular school there are 25 other kids who can answer the teacher’s questions. Here, I have to answer EVERYTHING.” You can’t put anything past this kid.  However, it was all worth it when I'd see the kids learn new things or succeed in an area they'd struggled with.  We also had lots of interesting conversations and I'd get a little peak at how their minds worked in a way I wouldn't get to see if they were at school.  It was great to be there when the kids figured out a really hard math problem, or when they were finally able to sound out a tough word. Plus, there were lots of giggles, high fives, and "Hey, you got it! Great job!" Who'd want to miss all that?   

The kids are ambivalent about going to a real school.  Michael is all for it, but I'm a little worried he thinks middle school will be just like in the movies and on TV.  This is my "grass is always greener" kid and I'm afraid he's going to be quite disappointed.  Emma is visibly nervous, but of all the kids she's the one who has the least to worry about.  Whenever she's in a classroom setting she always excels, and I'm sure she'll do just fine this time.  I'm actually most concerned about Andrew.  Except for 2-year-old preschool, he's never, ever been to school.  He's already convinced that this whole school thing is a big scam.  As soon as he found out his new schedule, he started complaining.  He'd say, "Mom, at home we can do all our school work in two hours.  Why do I have to be at school for SIX hours?"  I'm probably going to have to tell his teacher to keep a close eye on him at recess because he's already told me he's going to try to escape and come home when his class is outside playing.  There's definitely a trip to the Principal's office in my future. 

In all seriousness, Bill and I understand that we're embarking on this "back to school" adventure on a trial basis.  We're going to give it some time to see how things go--a month at least...but probably a quarter.  If things just don't work out I'm fully prepared to bring one or all of them back home.  There is also a middle option--the kids could do their academic subjects at home, but continue doing their "specials" (like art, music, etc...) at school.  This would create some logistical challenges working with three different grade schedules, but that option is available if we need it. 

Luckily I'll still have Mary at home most of the time.  I'd forgotten all about preschool mothers and the lengths I'd they'd go through to get their kids into the right preschool.  Back in the days of early motherhood, I remember lugging all the kids at the crack of dawn to THE preschool in Havelock and waiting in line to make sure whichever kid got a spot at the highly sought after school.  I guess the years of motherhood have mellowed me out, but preschool just wasn't very high on my "things to do" list when we got to Okinawa.  When I finally did start looking for an American preschool, all the cheap good ones were full and the tuition at the available schools rivaled our mortgage payment.  This is preschool, not Harvard.  Finally, I found one that had good reviews and it was in the right price range, but they only had openings in the afternoon Tuesday-Thursday class.  At first I was disappointed that she'd get so little time at school, but then I realized this might be a good thing.  While we homeschooled, I always felt guilty that Mary didn't get that one-on-one time while the others were at school.  That might explain a lot.  Now I'll have lots of time to do stuff just with her, at her level.  She won't always have to be dragged away from the kiddie section of the park because the older kids want to go to the big slide.  She won't always have to watch older kid shows because the big kids don't want to watch "baby shows."  Like I said, I think this will be a good thing. 

And now, I've had to start thinking of all the things I'll be able to do with my new found free time.  One thing about homeschooling...it's a lot like having an unpaid, full time job. (I tried to look at the money we were saving on Catholic school tuition as my salary, but that only helped so much.)  I didn't get to do lots of things because I was home with the kids (or they weren't kid-friendly events.)  I did manage to volunteer on base a few times a month, and I'll start doing that again once the kids and I are settled into our new school schedule.  But, to be honest, I'm selfishly looking forward to exploring Okinawa without having to listen to, "Ugh...how much longer to we have to be here?"  or "Where is this place?  Do I have to go?"  or (my personal favorite) "I don't wanna go see any stupid Japanese (insert attraction here.)"  Believe it or not, the kids haven't fully embraced the unique cultural opportunity they've been given.  My "Trying-To-Convince-Them-How-Cool-This-Is" Tank is empty.  I have no problem passing this torch on to their teachers.  Hopefully they'll have better luck than I've had!

So, after next Monday if you try to call and you can't reach me, you'll know that I'm off exploring some ancient Japanese castles, lounging around the clear blue beaches, or pampering my little piggies with a unique, work-of-art Okinawan pedicure.  It's going to hard, but I'm sure going to miss those kids!  Have a great school year! 

These are NOT my toesies....yet!