More School Days….and a random video

My apologies for neglecting this blog for so long. I didn't really think anyone would notice, but then I started receiving some pushy curious emails from people asking where my next post was, so I figured I'd better step up to the plate and put something on here before things started to get violent. The truth is, things have been pretty boring around here lately, so there hasn't been much to talk about. This post might be an insomnia cure in the making—don't say I didn't warn you!

Let's see…last time I wrote the three older kids had finished their first week of "real" school. The following Tuesday was finally Mary's turn. Luckily, Bill also happened to have the day off, so he was able to join us in this rite of passage. She was so excited and couldn't wait to say that she goes to school just like the big kids. Here are a couple of pictures of her first day:

So far Mary loves it!  The teacher's don't seem to have any complaints about her either. She just finished her second week there, and she hasn't burned the place down yet so I'm assuming things are going well. Mary's only criticism is that she wishes she could go more because she's only there Tuesday & Thursday afternoons for 2 ½ hours. I think she gets bored at home with me as her only playmate, so I'm on the hunt for other 4-year-old girls in the neighborhood who might be willing to come over and entertain her   play with her.

Andrew has had a little more trouble adjusting to school. He still complains that it takes way too long. His classroom situation is a little unique, but I think it will work out well for him. He's in a multi-age 1^st/2^nd grade classroom. That's the politically correct way of saying that the class is filled with first and second graders. When the kids (and parents) found out about this, there was quite an uproar—among the parents. (I don't think the kids cared one way or the other.) Apparently there were too many first & second graders for the number of teachers they had, so this was the solution for bringing down everyone's class sizes. Unfortunately, nobody told the second grade parents about this plan. At first I was a little concerned, but I realized a few things that made me decide that this would probably be a good fit for him. First of all, Andrew seems to take after his mother in that he is, uh….vertically challenged. With first graders in the class this isn't too obvious, but it would be clearly obvious in an all 2^nd grade class. Also, this is Andrew's first school experience ever. He might be teased for crying or improper school behavior in an all 2^nd grade class, but since half the first graders are crying or picking their noses, nobody seems to notice.

The other second grade parents are not nearly as open minded as I am about this situation. The first week we had a get-to-know-the-teacher meeting and they did not hesitate to unleash their disappointment on the poor teacher (who really had nothing to do with the decision – she probably didn't want to teach this class either!) I felt so bad for her and the parental over-protection was annoying me. Maybe I was feeling all rogue since we'd just come off homeschooling and I needed to feel that rebellious rush one last time, but finally I'd had enough… so I raised my hand and gave this stirring speech:

"Listen, Andrew's our third kid so we've been down this second grade road before.   I just want to let you know that, having older kids, I've had a little perspective on all of this and, to be honest, second grade is not that big of a deal. It's not like they're in Harvard or anything. If you don't feel that Mrs. L is giving your kids what they need, then you are more than capable of bringing them up to speed after school. In the big scheme of things this is not that catastrophic and everything will work out in the end so try not to freak out about this." 

Instead of a grand round of applause and overwhelming thank you's for sharing my wisdom, I could feel invisible daggers being thrown in my direction. Even the teacher gave me a look that screamed, "Uh, gee….thanks for the backup. You're a BIG help." Looking back on it, I'm not sure which part was worse…the part when I said second grade wasn't a big deal, or the part when I told the parents they should stop freaking out and actually teach their kids AT HOME. The insanity! My speech wasn't all that convincing either because since then 2 kids have switched classes for a "real" second grade. Good riddance, I say.

As long as I'm venting, this return "real" school has introduced us to a whole new world of teacher/parent/school communication. Apparently in the last three years someone thought it'd be a good idea that the parents know Every Little Thing that their kid is doing in school. The inventors of email had no idea their technology would be abused in this manner. At a minimum, we get a DAILY email from Emma's teacher letting us know what the class did that day, what homework the kids have that night, what tests are coming up, which kid threw up during science class (I'm kidding….but I wouldn't put it past this guy!) The other day I asked Emma what she had for homework and Bill sarcastically piped in saying, "Didn't you read Mr. K's 4^th email today?" It's bordering on absurd. But that's not all…the school system has set up a website so that starting in 4^th grade parents can check on the kids' grades, homework and class activities whenever they feel like it. Remember when we were kids and we'd fail a test, but then we'd (maybe) bring up the grade with the following tests so by the time report cards came out our parents were none the wiser? Sadly, our children will no longer learn those scheming techniques. Before they come home from school Mommy and Daddy will be waiting at the door, print out in hand, ready to say, "I see you flunked your Math test today…nice job genius! No TV for a month!" 

But seriously...how are the kids ever going to learn to be responsible if Mom & Dad are always one step behind making sure they didn't forget anything? Is this happening at other schools?  As much as they complain about it, I think the schools are fostering that "helicopter parent" mentality. (Or maybe it's one of those chicken-and-the-egg situations:  which came first—the hovering parent or the over-communicative school?) And this doesn't end in middle school.  A few years ago my Mom was offered a job as "Parent Liaison" at the local university. When she told me about the new job, I thought she had made it up. Why do college kids need a Parent Liaison? When Bill & I reminisced about our college days, we remembered our parents dropping us off freshman year, paying tuition (through the mail,) and then picking us up at graduation. That was all the "liaising" they did with the school. I think I would have been mortified if my mother had called the college to ask why I hadn't done well in my American Lit class. But nowadays, there are enough parents calling so that an actual position has been made (and paid for with your tax dollars!) to deal with the onslaught of phone calls. My mom was not thrilled with her new position either, and it wasn't too much later that she decided enter the wonderful world of retirement (where the only annoying parents she has to deal with are her daughters who do crazy things, like homeschool her grandchildren and move them halfway around the world.)   

So that's all for my soapbox. I'm sure you're all hoping that I make some more friends around here soon so I can stop venting on my blog and I can do it with (other) real people. For those of you who are still awake after reading this boring post, here's a special treat (that has nothing to do with school.)  I've received several requests for this video….so here you go! Enjoy!

 

Back to School, Part 2

Well, we survived our first week of school!  Our first morning was filled with nervous giggles, lots of hugs, and a few tears....and that was just me!  That Monday, at the unhealthy hour of 5:45am, my evil alarm went off.  I had to wake up that early because Michael's school starts at 7:10am.  7:10AM.  For a family that hasn't had to wake up early for anything in the last three years (other than trans-Pacific travel) this pill was a bit hard to swallow.  Luckily Michael has always been a morning person and is quite self-sufficient, so he'll probably be able to manage this just fine.  However, for the first day of school in 3 years, I thought it'd be nice for his Mom to wake up and send him off.  I was pleasantly surprised when Bill woke up about 15 minutes later and started making scrambled eggs and Vienna sausages for breakfast.  Michael and Andrew stumbled out shortly after that, followed by Emma & Mary.  They got dressed, ate breakfast, checked school supplies one last time, and at 7:00am Bill and Michael drove off for the MIDDLE SCHOOL!   We decided it would be best for Bill to take him that day because leaving your mother crying in the parking lot is not the best way to start off the sixth grade.  Afterward, Bill called to give me the drop off report, and he admitted that even he got a little choked up as he drove away. 

So anyway, back at home I was left to get Emma and Andrew ready for school.  We had originally planned to walk to school, but naturally the weather did not cooperate and it was a rainy, dismal morning.  When we arrived at school, the students were lining up with their classes in the school's small gym.  It was noisy, disorganized pandemonium, and I'll admit for a few moments I had to fight the urge to grab my kids and run home as fast as we could to save them from this chaos.  I eventually dropped Emma off with her line and gave her a quick hug as we both fought back the tears, then moved on to do the same thing with Andrew.  Finally, Mary and I went to the back of the gym where I joined the other overprotective parents as we waited for the kids to be dismissed to their classrooms.  Apparently the theme to this impromptu assembly was "Ringing in the New Year," so in addition to the regular noise of kids talking, children and mothers crying, and the general disorder that's expected when 600 kids and parents are crammed into a small space, some of the adults were ringing bells.  I wanted to grab all those darn bells and throw them out the window!  Finally someone (I think it was the P.E coach) began giving a speech.  A painfully long, very boring speech.  Marine wives, you know when you drop off your guy for a deployment and you just want them to hurry up and leave so you could get it over with?  This felt exactly like that.  I wanted to yell, "Enough already!  Just take the kids and go!"  Rip off the bandaid, I say!  At last, the school year was officially "rung in" (with those damn bells!) and the kids were led to their classroom as the parents whimpered on back home. 

Except that Mary and I didn't have plans to go on home.  I was a little worried she'd feel very left out since she was the only one not going to school, so last week we decided that school time would be our special time to have a "Mommy-Mary Party."  Every day we'd plan something special to do, just the two of us.  And, let me tell you, Mary has lots of plans.  She's started a list (that only she can read) and it includes going to the aquarium, the beach, the zoo, the Food Court, the 100 yen store, the big roller slide, bike riding, scootering, painting and playing with playdoh,  making cookies and making brownies.  Whew!  But on this day the first order of business was to go to Dunkin Donuts, which was perfect for me because she could enjoy her pink sprinkled donut while I drowned my sorrows in coffee.  Finally, it was time to face the inevitable and we made our way home.  To a Very Quiet House.  Mary didn't quite know what to do with herself since she didn't have anyone changing her show or bossing her around, and I didn't know what to do with myself since I didn't have any fights to referee.   It was a very long day for both of us.  

Finally, finally, it was time to pick up Michael.  I was anxious to hear how is first day had gone because...well, it was middle school!  New teachers, locker combinations, changing classes, hormones....so many landmines to navigate through !  When I did find him he started talking a mile a minute about the details of his day.  Yes, he could open his locker; no, he didn't get lost; yes, he made some new friends; no, he wasn't picked on by the gigantic 8th graders.  It was such a relief that he'd had a good experience. 

Next, on to pick up the younger kids.  When we found Emma, she was less than thrilled about her day, and she spent the evening fighting back the tears every time the topic of school came up.  She said she felt so lost and like she was the only one who didn't know what was going on.  For some reason she wasn't consoled when I told her that's how I feel every time we move.  But, she put on a brave face the next morning, and when I picked her up on the second afternoon she'd had a much better day and felt more at ease with her surroundings.  By the end of the week she was an old pro at all this school stuff. 

Andrew had kind of a rough first day (and week!)  When I met his teacher last week I had told her that this will be Andrew's first experience with "real" school and he's not too familiar with the herd mentality.  I asked if she could cut him a little slack if he forgets to raise his hand or doesn't understand the concept of staying in line.   She assured me that most second graders have trouble with those things but they all figure it out, so he'd be just fine.  Unfortunately, she greatly over-estimated Andrew's abilities.  Here's the conversation I had with Andrew when I picked him up that first day:

Me:  Hey!  How'd it go today?

Andrew:  Great, Mom!  I only cried once....and that was when I got lost.

Me: Lost? What are you talking about?

Andrew:  Well, I thought I was following my class, but somehow I ended up in a class with third graders.

Me:  Oh, is that when you started crying and someone took you back to your class?

Andrew:  No, then someone took me to a first grade class, but that was wrong too.

Me:  Well, how long were you lost?  How did you finally find your class?

Andrew:  About 20 minutes.  Someone took me to the office, and that's when I started crying.  And then they finally took me to my class. 

So, not a great start to his school career.  He's still irritated that the school day is so long (compared to our homeschooling days.)  When I picked him up on Wednesday, he said, "That's it Mom, after a month I'm done with this place!"  I think he has a pretty good teacher and (except for losing him) she seems to genuinely care for her students.  He seems to be getting along well with the other kids, and I continue to be impressed with what the school has to offer.  We've told Andrew that we'll go back to homeschooling if the kids are mean to him or if the teacher starts doing bad things (like drinking heavily during class.)  Other than that, he needs to get used to the idea that he'll keep going to that school because that's what most kids do.  He's still not quite on board with that plan, but I think he's warming up to the idea. 

And, now that Mary isn't constantly in the shadow of her older siblings, I'm finding that she is a very fun partner in crime, and that she's a very clever little girl.  Since I've had to devote so much of my time these last few years to making sure the older kids stay on top of their school work, I've forgotten how exciting the preschool years can be.  It's great to have this time to slow down with her and enjoy all those things that preschoolers find fascinating--like figuring out how to ride without training wheels, following the butterflies as we walk back from the elementary school and going down the slide 27 times at the park without hearing the big kids whine about being bored.  She's finally getting some well deserved one-on-one time with Mom. 

After a summer full of changes we are all ready to settle down to a little bit of routine.  While I know the school year brings a plethora of after school activities, homework, weekend events, and scheduling conflicts, I think we will all welcome the chaos as a sign that our lives are finally getting back to normal--whatever that is!   I'm very proud of the kids for handling this new school change with such bravery...they've really done rather well through all of this.  And I hope they continue to thrive  as well in "real" school as they did while we were homeschooling. 

And....I'm realizing that it's very easy to get used to a quiet house.